I was recently working with a young mother who struggled with depression and anxiety in the difficult year following the birth of her child. In addition to managing the herculean task of adjusting to motherhood, she had trouble coping with her baby’s complex medical needs. While I explained to her the importance of tending to her mental health and the connection between parental well-being and healthy child development, she burst out crying. “I feel so guilty,” she sobbed. “I’ve waited too late.”
I shared with her wisdom from pediatrician and trauma expert Nadine Burke Harris: Early adversity does not dictate your baby’s destiny. I told her she was a good mother and that cultivating positive experiences would offer her baby long-term protection. I also explained that I wouldn’t be so passionate about this work if it were devoid of hope. She laughed through her tears when I added, “because all doom and gloom would totally be the worst job ever.”